


Catching Feelings

by wanheedaa



Category: The 100 (TV)
Genre: Alternate Universe, Angst, Clexa Endgame, College AU, Eventual Smut, F/F, High School AU, No Im not sorry, Promise, Slow Burn, best friends au, but not till waaay later lol sorry, but really clarke needs to just not, clarke is stupid, costia kinda deserves better in this one, lexa is too good for this world, niylah is debatable, so much goddamn angst
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2019-10-01
Updated: 2019-10-24
Packaged: 2020-11-09 07:40:48
Rating: Not Rated
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 3
Words: 3,944
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/20849885
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/wanheedaa/pseuds/wanheedaa
Summary: Clarke and Lexa have been best friends for as long as they could remember. 2 peas in a pod, they were often called, and it was true. All they needed were each other and they were more than content with that. However, that was only until one day, Clarke decided that she no longer wanted Lexa in her life. So Clarke left her, with no reason whatsoever.3 years later, Lexa, who eventually became used to spending her days alone, was surprised with the reappearance of the girl from her past: Clarke. Burdened with all the pent-up anger both at her former best friend and even herself, she was faced with the ultimate, life-changing question; should she let her back in? If so, what will happen to their friendship, if there was even some left? More importantly, what if what Lexa wanted was something more than friendship?





	1. Chapter 1

**Author's Note:**

> Hey! 
> 
> This is a previous work of mine from a different fandom that I'll be reposting here. I haven't updated the original in YEARS but hopefully you guys can help me get back into the writing groove, Clexa style! Let me know what you guys think. Next chapter will be up soon!
> 
> More tags and characters will be added as the story progresses. Stay tuned.
> 
> Cheers.

_7 years ago_

“Hey, Lexa! Last one in is a rotten egg!” Clarke shouted as she started sprinting towards the door that lead to the backyard.

“That’s not fair! My ankle is broken,” Lexa whined, but was met with no response because her best friend was already well ahead of her. "She’s relentless," Lexa thought to herself as she limped her way to follow the disappearing figure in the distance with glowing blonde hair. Lexa’s ankle wasn’t in a good enough condition to play around with, but today was a special day for Clarke and she wanted to do whatever made her happy. As Lexa went through the doorway, she looked up and saw Clarke perched on the edge of their treehouse.

The brunette leaned against the wall and tried to catch her breath while keeping her injured ankle well away from the floor. Clarke got up and shimmied down the rope ladder, jumping to the ground instead of using the last few rungs. She jogged over to her best friend, concern etched onto her face. “I’m sorry, Lex. I forgot about your ankle. Is it hurting?” The blonde immediately got to her knees and began inspecting the said ankle, gently running her fingers above the bandage.

Lex put on a brave smile to hide the fact that her ankle was, in fact, hurting. A lot. “It’s fine, Clarke. I just needed to take a breather. I’ll head over to the treehouse now, go ahead,” She said as she pushed herself off the wall. Lexa moved to take a step, but winced when a blinding jolt of pain shot up her leg. Clarke, becoming increasingly concerned for her best friend, hurriedly slipped her arm around Lexa’s waist to help ease the weight off of her ankle.

“No, Lexa, it’s not fine at all.” Clarke looked at her best friend, her eyes glistening as she tried to hold back her tears. “Maybe we should go back to your room instead and watch a movie. I was being selfish and wanted you to play with me. I’m really sorry.”

Lexa looked down at the blonde and couldn’t help but smile at the cutest little pout she was sporting. She lifted up Clarke’s chin with my her finger and connected their gazes. Lexa flashed a genuine smile and said “It’s your birthday, Clarke. Even if my legs were cut off, I’d still drag myself across the lawn and up the treehouse just so I can play with you.”

She giggled at the brunette’s silly, yet heroic quip and sighed in relief as the worry seeped out of her. “You’re so silly!” Clarke replied, lightly slapping her best friend in the stomach. “Now let’s go. I’ll help you.”

The two best friends slowly made their way, Lexa limping heavily and Clarke trying her best to support her weight. Climbing up the ladder was a struggle, but after some time, the duo made it safely to the top. They positioned themselves atop the blanket haphazardly thrown across the wooden floor, taking deep breaths to recover.

“Hey, Clarke?” Lexa called out, trying to get her attention. Clarke turned her head to face the brunette with her full, undivided attention. “Am I still your best friend?”

Clarke frowned at that and scooted over until the two girls were lying face to face, their noses only centimetres apart. “Why would you think that?,” Clarke asked, fear suddenly gripping her heart. The brunette sighed and tried to swallow the lump that formed in her throat. “Because I haven’t played with you in a week, and I thought that maybe you found another best friend.” She pouted and felt a single tear run down her cheek.

Clarke immediately wiped the tear away and looked into Lexa’s eyes. “No, Lexa, you’re the only best friend I want, okay? Stop thinking that. You’re stuck with me forever.”

Lexa chuckled. “You’re just saying that because you need me to make you peanut butter and jelly sandwiches!”

Clarke slapped her best friend’s stomach, harder this time, the corners of her ocean eyes crinkling due to the face-eating grin that was plastered on her face. “Yes, that’s true, but you know what I mean, right?”

Lexa nodded and gave her a smile in return. She moved her hand and rested it above the blonde’s, who immediately grasped it and intertwined their little fingers.

“Forever, Clarke?”

“Always, Lex.”

\---

_2 years ago_

Lexa paced back and forth across the room, feeling impatient as ever. “Clarke! Are you ready? I wanna go to the party now!” she shouted up the stairs.  
She heard loud footsteps above her and, finally, the door to her room burst open. The brunette did a double take, her jaw hanging open as her best friend emerged, dressed in a fitted navy blue polka-dotted dress. Her usually unruly blonde hair was slightly curled and fell across her shoulders like a majestic waterfall. Clarke smiled down at her best friend nervously as she made her way down the stairs. Their gazes remained on each other and what was probably seconds felt like an eternity to both girls.

Lexa shook her head slightly, snapping herself out of the trance. Her palms started to get damp as it dawned on her that perhaps she was a bit underdressed in her ripped denim shorts and her favourite muscle tank with the Beatles logo at the front.

“You look beautiful, Clarke.” Lexa said in a quiet voice.

The blonde smiled shyly and hooked her arm around the brunette’s elbow. “Thank you, Lex. You look beautiful as well.” The brunette scoffed as they made their way out of the house and towards the party 4 blocks away. “Nah, not reallly. I dress like this everyday.”

“Doesn’t mean you look any less beautiful,” she replied with a gentle smile on her face.

Finally reaching the house, they saw that the party was already in full force. Teenagers were scattered in the front yard, conversing with each other with red plastic cups in their hands. Obnoxious electronic music was blasting from the inside of the house. The duo looked at each other with ecstatic expressions on their faces and entered through the front door. Immediately, they were met with a blast of heat from the packed bodies that were dancing around in the spacious living room.

“Hey, Clarke!”

They turned their heads to the direction of the voice and saw Echo walking over. Echo was in their math class and her boyfriend, Bellamy Blake, was the one who hosted the party. She and her group of goons were essentially the kings and queens of the school. Lexa watched amusedly as Clarke squealed like a child when she received an invitation to what was dubbed the “greatest party of the year.” Lexa really isn’t one for parties. She hasn’t been to any and intended to keep it that way until she graduated. However, one pout from her favourite blonde was all it took to convince her to come. She tried not to dwell at her weak resolve, but she couldn’t deny that she was excited to see Clarke get the full “high school experience.”

“I didn’t know you were gonna bring someone,” Echo’s voice snapped Lexa out of her reverie. The girl seemed completely unimpressed with Lexa’s existence as she dragged her cold eyes up and down the increasingly anxious brunette. “We were supposed to hang out.”

Lexa saw Clarke frown slightly at the rude remark, but she quickly covered it up and replied politely. “She’s Lexa, my best friend. We go everywhere together.” The blonde immediately slid her hand down from where it was resting on Lexa’s shoulder to intertwine their fingers.

Lexa, touched by her best friend’s intentions, could only smile shyly at her in response, but Echo was frowning even more now.

“Okay, I gotta show you this present I got, but I guess we can save that for later,” Echo said, waving them off and turning to get back to her friends.

Lexa panicked as she fought an internal debate. She knew how important it was for Clarke to make a good impression on Echo and her friends. “Clarke?”

The blonde turned her gaze away from Echo’s retreating figure to look at her best friend. “Yes, Lex?”

Lexa squeezed her best friend’s hand once last time before letting go. “Why don’t you go ahead and join them? I’ll wait somewhere quieter and then I walk you home after, as promised”.

“Are you sure, Lex?” the blonde asked with uncertainty. Lexa knew that Clarke was feeling guilty about her conflicting desires, but she loved her best friend too much to let herself be the reason she was unhappy.

“Yes, Clarke. Go have fun. I’ll be waiting down here when you get back, I promise.” The blonde grinned and pulled Lexa in for a hug, whispering a quick thank you in her ear before pulling away and skipping over to where Echo was standing.

Lexa watched as they walked to a different corner of the house and saw Echo shoot her a mischievous smirk out of the corner of her eye. Before she could process what was going on, Echo looked away and hooked her arm around Clarke’s elbow.

Lexa couldn’t help but feel a twinge of jealousy in her chest, but she sighed and tried to find a chair to sit on while her best friend was out having fun.

\---

It’s been hours and Clarke still hadn’t come back. Lexa looked at the watch on her wrist and saw that it was 10:45. Her curfew was at 11, so she decided to head home before she got into trouble with her step-parents. She sent Clarke a quick text explaining where she went, hoping that her best friend was at least in safe hands for the night.

As she was about to step out of the front door, Lexa glanced to her left and saw Clarke standing amongst the goons, a red cup held loosely in her left hand. Some girl’s arm was draped over the blonde, keeping their bodies close together. The curly-haired stranger leaned over to whisper something in Clarke’s ear, which caused her to giggle and whisper something in return.

Lexa stood there, frozen. She wasn’t sure of what she was feeling, or if she felt anything at all, so she ran away as fast as she could, tears streaming down her face.


	2. Chapter 2

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> This chapter begins still in the past. Thought to state that in case anyone was like me and easily confused. 
> 
> No betas, so I'm sorry for the typos. A girl can only do so much before she goes crazy.

_The next day_

Lexa woke up feeling like the sun was trying to burn her alive. Grumbling and cursing to herself, she kicked her white fleece blanket away from her sweat-drenched body and sighed at the feeling of fresher, cooler air surrounding her. “Why are these damn blinds always open?” she mumbled as she gracelessly hauled herself up on her elbow to blindly yank the string that would close the blinds on her window and successfully remove the source of her heat-induced misery.

Slumping back onto her bed, she dug around her tragic mess of pillows and blankets to find her phone. She frowned upon seeing that she didn’t receive a single text from Clarke since the party last night. Lexa was starting to feel iffy, but she decided to brush it off and give her best friend the benefit of the doubt. Realizing the time, she rushed to get ready for school and jogged to the spot around the corner where she and Clarke have been meeting for years to walk to school.

An hour has passed since Lexa has been standing at their spot. Still, Clarke refused to appear. Giving up, Lexa sighed and started to walk up and tried to think about the trouble she’ll get into for missing her entire first class. More importantly, she tried to avoid thinking about how much she missed the warm presence and constant chattering of her best friend as they walked side-by-side.

\---

Lexa took a deep breath to steel herself against what she was about to do.

In one shaky movement, she pushed the door to her second class open and stepped through the doorway. As expected, every pair of eyes immediately turned towards her as she interrupted Mr. Pike’s lecture on algebraic equations. She blushed and mumbled a quick apology to her teacher as she stepped over bags and books to get to her chair in the middle of the class.

She took yet another deep breath, this time to calm her nerves about the eventful morning she’s had so far. Mr. Pike’s voice droned on to continue the lecture, but she couldn’t bring herself to focus on anything else. Her best friend is usually on the desk beside her, like in all of their shared classes, but that desk was currently empty.

“Where is she?” she thought to herself, growing increasingly worried. “Did she make it home last night? Is she sick?”

Each thought that passed through her head made her increasingly worried, but that was until she heard a familiar giggle from behind her.

Trying to be as discreet as possible, she turned towards the voice. She had no trouble spotting her favourite blond curls, as if illuminated by the dusty rays of the on-screen projector. Relief courses through her veins as soon as she realized her best friend was safe and sound.

When their eyes met, Lexa flashed her best friend a goofy grin. It was weird to think about, but even half a day without her best friend left her feeling incomplete. She doesn’t feel as safe without the person she’s loved her entire life.

“Love as a friend,” Lexa reprimanded herself and waited for Clarke to return her greeting.

Instead of returning Lexa’s smile, Clarke turned away and showed Echo something on her phone. They giggled at it, thoroughly ignoring Lexa’s existence, and continued to whisper between themselves.

Lexa’s eyes stung watching them together. She was about to turn back to the front when she saw Bellamy slip her arm around Clarke’s shoulders, pulling the giggling blonde closer to his body.

White spots flashed behind Lexa’s eyes and she felt like she was going to break. She felt the tell-tale tingling in the palms of her hands and the racing of her heart. Mr. Pike’s voice became a constant ringing and her head was starting to pound. “I have to get out of here,” she panicked as she grabbed her bag and stormed out of the room. She barely noticed Mr. Pike’s concerned voice calling out for her.

Her eyes stung with pooling tears and her lungs burned as she ran to the nearest bathroom. She threw herself in the empty stall farthest from the door and sank to her knees. She couldn’t stop the sob that left her mouth and the tears started spilling soon after. She clenched her eyes shut and grasp at her chest, suddenly feeling like she was being squeezed. She gasped and failed to get air into her lungs.

“Fuck,” she growled and kicked her backback towards the wall. She surrendered to her anxiety and let her body shake with the force of her sobs.

“What the fuck is happening,” she whispered to herself as she drew her knees towards her chest and cried until every ounce of energy was drained from her body.

\---

At the end of the day, Lexa was at her locker getting the books she needed to bring home. “Nothing like homework to distract yourself,” she muttered to herself as she slammed her locker door shut. She would probably trade all of her material possessions to be anywhere but at school. Rather, she wanted to be in the safety of her room, comfortably buried under her pillows as she let her emotions pour out of her.

Checking off that she has all the things she needs from her mental checklist, she turns and sees the back of the head of a familiar blonde at the lockers across the hallway. Lexa and Clarke had the habit of memorizing each other’s locker locations, even their passcodes, as they didn’t see the point in keeping it a secret to each other. Besides, it made it easier for them to find each other in between classes and after school in the slim chance that they were separated.

Lexa took a step forward but stopped herself, realizing the situation she was in. Clarke has made no attempts to contact her, or even acknowledge her, and she wasn’t sure she could handle the possibility of being rejected once more. Her heart hurt too many times today already. Under the hurt was confusion. They have been best friends since she could remember but nothing like this has ever happened. Clarke has always been there when Lexa needed her, and vice versa. But today… today made her feel what life would be like without Clarke and she wasn’t sure she wanted it.

Mentally slapping herself, she made the decision to confront her best friend and clear up this misunderstanding for good. After all, that’s all this was: a misunderstanding…. Right? One step led to another and before she knew it, she was a good arm’s length away from Clarke.

“Um, hey, Clarke,” Lexa stuttered out as she willed her nerves to keep it together for a solid minute. The blonde flinched at the sound of Lexa’s voice, but Lexa didn’t notice. Instead, the brunette leaned in to envelop the blonde in a warm hug, as they always do. Clarke stiffened up even more, her shoulders rigid, if that was even possible.

“What’s wrong, Clarke?” Lexa muttered, turning her friend around so they could look each other in the eye and talk. “What’s the matter? I’ve missed you so much.” Lexa’s voice cracked as she felt fresh tears burn at the corner of her eyes.

“No, Lexa,” Clarke took her arm away from Lexa’s shaking grasp. “I already made plans for today,” she stated as she slammed her locker closed and started to walk away from the sniffling brunette.

“I- Are you sure?” Lexa continued, walking as well to catch up to the girl who was leaving her. “I got you your favourite candies for movie night tonight and I--”

“CLAAARKEEEEY!”

A shrill, overly enthusiastic voice interrupted Lexa and she flinched back, as if stung.

“You ready to go, girl?” Echo was smiling brightly at Clarke, who was smiling right back.

As if just noticing her presence, Echo scrunched her eyebrows as she looked Lexa up and down. She scoffed, as if disgusted by the mere sight of the brunette. “What’s she doing here,” she scowled through gritted teeth. “You’re not bringing her with us, are you?”

Clarke glanced at Lexa, and for the first time, it was clear that the blonde was also nervous at the new development. Their eyes met and for a few seconds, Lexa felt lost in those dazzling blue eyes she’s loved since before she knew what "love" meant.

“No, she was just about to leave,” Clarke finally voiced out, her voice firm as can be.

As she watched the two girls leave the hallway, giggling at each other while bumping hips, Lexa dropped to her knees on the floor, suddenly feeling weak and overwhelmed. She lost count of the amount of times she felt like crying today, and honestly, it didn’t matter anymore. She hugged her knees to the chest and allowed herself to let it all out.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> So, what do you guys think of Clarke? 
> 
> One more flashback in the next chapter and we're back to the PRESENT Lexa and Clarke. Bear with me and our two problematic gays (one more than the other-- yes, the blonde one).


	3. Chapter 3

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Quick little update to end the flashback scenes of high school Clexa. Next chapter, we will have college Clexaaaaa (Present day)
> 
> P.S. Don't worry. They're just as messy.

_~A week later~_

Lexa’s mind was racing with anger as she stormed through the school hallways to get to the cafeteria. She was hurt, but she knew that she deserved to have answers. She knew she didn’t deserve to be ignored. Pushing the cafeteria doors open, Lexa craned her neck to see better amongst the sea of fumbling, noisy students. Finally spotting Clarke, surrounded by her new clique, Lexa didn’t allow herself to think twice about getting her answers. She needed to know why this was happening and what she has done to lose the one person in her life she expected to be with forever. 

Lexa’s strides felt and looked confident, up until the point she saw Bellamy hook a finger under Clarke’s chin and give her a quick peck on the lips. The way they smiled at each other as they pulled away felt like a knife to the chest. Lexa was enraged. 

She stood at the edge of the table, directly in front of Clarke.

“Clarke,” Lexa declared, firmer and stronger than she was feeling at that moment. “Can we talk? Privately?” 

Clarke hesitantly drew her gaze to meet Lexa’s upon hearing her name. Lexa noticed that her shoulders were tense and her usually dazzling ocean eyes were lacking their luster. She felt the slightest sliver of concern for her best friend, but quickly pushed the feeling away. She needed to be angry, because without her anger, she didn’t have the strength to do what she needed to do. 

“Uh, yeah, okay,” Clarke muttered as she hauled herself out of her seat. This drew some gasps and raised eyebrows from her new _ friends _, who looked equal parts surprised and shocked at what was happening. 

Lexa turned around and let her actions indicate that Clarke should follow her. Away from the vulture-like gazes of Echo’s friends and hearing the shuffling of Clarke’s footsteps behind her, she finally allowed herself to take a deep breath to calm her nerves and mentally prepare herself for what she was about to do. 

_ For what she hoped she wouldn’t lose _.

Lexa hoped that she would be able to make her best friend listen; that she would be able to shake Clarke out of this nightmare and let things return to the way they were. Finally reaching their destination, the bathroom Lexa used as shelter from all the Clarke-induced hurt she was feeling lately, Lexa felt a tight grip on her elbow as she was forcibly turned around.

“What do you want, Lexa?” Clarke gritted, venom lacing her tone. “What do you want from me?”

“What do _ I _ want?!” Lexa replied, her voice starting to reflect the steadily increasing feeling of rage she was feeling in her heart. “What do you mean what do I want? I want you.”

Lexa’s voice cracked as she felt sobs wrack through her body. “I want my best friend back,” she whispered. “Why have you been ignoring me?”

At the onset of her breakdown, Lexa thought she saw a glimmer of _ something _ in Clarke’s eyes, something that looked like sadness. It gave her hope and all that she wanted to do was to wrap her arms around the blonde and wish all the bad things to disappear. However, that glimmer disappeared just as quickly as it appeared and it left Lexa looking at her reflection through the newly-formed ice in Clarke’s eyes. 

“I’m sorry, Lexa,” Clarke stated, but she looked anything _ but _ sorry. “I have new friends now. I suggest you do the same.” 

As if deciding that there was no longer need for conversation, she turned away and took a step towards the door. It was as if it irritated her to be near Lexa, who was now a sobbing, pathetic mess in the middle of the tiled bathroom floor. As a last resort, Lexa summoned every ounce of courage left in her and stated at Clarke: “What happened to forever, Clarke?” 

Lexa knew, by the way Clarke’s steps faltered, that her question was heard loud and clear. Every second that passed was agony as she waited for the answer to what was probably the most loaded question she will ever ask. 

Without even bothering to face her, Clarke replied. “Grow up, Lexa. There’s no such thing as forever.” 

And with that, she left. 

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Which character(s) do y'all think I'll introduce in the next chapter? STAY TUNED.
> 
> What do you guys want to see come up? Like, college experiences, etc etc. Comment your prompts and I'll do my best to make them happen.


End file.
